Let me share a story about two of my patients, Bob and Tim. I’ll set the scene for you.
They meet for lunch at the local sushi restaurant. The conversation starts off with niceties. How is the wife? How are the kids? Who do you think will win the presidency? The lunch is served. Bob says to Tim, “How have you been feeling?” Tim replies, “Well, to tell you the truth my bowels have been impacted for the last week and my stream isn’t what it used to be. The docs gave me some medicine three weeks ago that gave me the trots. So now I went from being clogged to the trots to being clogged again. They’re planning to perform a colonoscopy next week.”
At this point in time, Bob (who is sharing the story with me) no longer wants to eat any of his meal. Hearing the details about Tim’s intestinal problems has made him feel nauseated. Bob tells me that he is tired of listening to his friends complain about their intestinal and bodily dysfunctions.
I have noticed that complaining about one’s health is typical for many baby boomers. As we get older, our days are devoted to going to the doctor, trying new medicines, and getting poked or prodded and sometimes both, either just to maintain what one has or in the quest to stay and feel younger.
To be honest, when someone asks how you are feeling, the best reply should be, “Hanging in there” or “I’m fine.” Most people do not want to hear the truth, especially in detail. The exception should be when you are visiting your doctor. He/she should want to hear every detail about how you feel. You may say something that could suggest a condition for which your doctor would recommend an MRI, X-ray, blood work, or other more in-depth study.
For example, a new patient who is only 52 years old reported to my office with complaints of neck pain. An exam was performed and I determined that he was suffering with neck spasms. Towards the end of the exam he said, “I don’t know if this means anything, but I have been experiencing cramping pain in the back of my knee for the last few weeks. I wasn’t really going to share it with you, but do you think it might be related to my neck?” I quickly reviewed his chart, which revealed that he had high cholesterol and triglyceride levels. I referred him for an ultrasound and it turned out that he had a medium-sized clot in his leg. He was prescribed blood thinners and is fine today. What would have happened if he had never shared that piece of information? I can tell you that the outcome would have been a bad one.
So the rules when complaining about your health are two-fold—with family and friends, keep it brief and avoid the details, especially during meal time! But share how you feel with your doctor in great detail, as it may save your life.
The best way to avoid complaining at all is to stay healthy, exercise, create proper nutritional habits, and take time to de-stress.
That’s it for now.
Dr. Michael Kaye
Knowledge, Action, Results
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
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3 comments:
Funny, I know people like that too; never ask them how they are feeling before sitting down to a meal, that is what I have learned.
Now as the saying goes, "there is no such thing as a stupid question". I can't say for sure that isn't true but in the case of your health, better to reveal all to your doctor no matter how embarressing or irrelevent it may seem. Everything in your body is connected in some way.
I think complaining frankly is a matter of choice. Now making fun of it is my choice but I believe in the healing power of humor, except after you've just had a lot to drink. I see the body as this amazing instrument that gets played hard and beaten down and yet we still expect it to just stay in tune. I guess to stay with this metaphor you've got to listen to your own music. If complaining makes you feel better then by all means, dive in it is healthy to vent, but please not at the table... :)
I certainly do agree with you Dr Kaye that as we get older it is important that we start taking better care of ourselves, just like you suggested by - staying healthy, exercise, creating proper nutritional habits, and to take the time to de-stress ourselves.
But something else struck me when I read your blog, which was - how important it is to make sure that; whatever you have to say or complain about (especially when it comes to your health) it is important that you share your woes with someone - who can actually help.
When Tim complained to Bob about his bowel troubles, Bob could only lend a sympathetic ear (even if it did put him off his meal) but Tim was really complaining to the wrong person because Bob could not actually help him.
However, it was lucky that your new patient was smart enough to not just complain about his condition (to his friends or family who, like Bob, could not have done very much about it) but he was smart enough to share this significant information with someone who could help. As it turns out, your actions were life saving.
Thank goodness he took the time to share this information with you Dr Kaye - rather than just a friend!
Thanks for the reminder, Dr. Kaye, that not everyone wants to hear the gory details of any medical issues we are having. Unless more details are asked for, it is best to keep to keep the details to ourselves.
One thing you wrote that especially drew my attention was where you said that your doctor should want to hear every detail about how you feel.
Unfortunately, this is not always the case. In this world where everyone is always rushing around with one ear up against their cell phone or their thumbs in the midst of writing a text message, doctors often seem to be rushed as well. It can be daunting to vocalize ailment details when you feel that your doctor is in a rush to see the next patient or to get out of the office.
It sometimes seems as though doctors don't allow enough time with patients, which makes all the appointments run late. Hence a vicious circle of the doctor wanting to rush through other appointments and patients feeling like they don't have enough time too speak with their doctor.
If that is the case, perhaps it is time to switch doctors to find one who doesn't make you feel like you are impinging on their time.
Everyone would be fortunate to have a doctor like you, someone who wants to hear all the ailments and truly listens.
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